and i gasped.
i thought " what a crazy guy who said that directly to a girl that he likes"
i knew back then that he doesnt like history, but still i told him mine. he doesn't mind. he doesn't smile. but now, he's mine.
the first couple of days of our love life story, a big storm came.
frankly to say, i was thinking of leaving.
luckily, he got my heart so tight to his. i stay, until today.
there are so many days, i wonder to my self, what makes me love him?
... today i have the one exact answer. You are not the love that i have dreamt about all this time. You are the love that's real and i'm glad i have you here not in my dream. And i can't imagine my self as a person who's not loving you.
maybe i have or i haven't say it, directly or written to you, so i'll say
... Thank you Ara, for being tough, hard, but gentle and soft at the same time.
for being such a man who sincerely put everything behind just to make sure we are okay.
for letting me being selfish at a time and pinch my ears when i go to far.
for letting me get in to your room and sleep next to you.
for washing the dishes that not even yours.
for the best smile, smile that i always miss, though it is just a second ago i saw it.
for making me feel i'm beautiful in your eyes.
for loving me the way you have been.
for not yelling when i am.
for hugging me when the tears are rolling like a snow ball.
for picking me up late at night when it may cause you problems.
fights and tears that we had is getting their numbers more and more as we go on together.
i know there'll be hard time, i know there are times when we are feeling like going away.
but i know no matter how far i go, my place is to be next to you so that i can breathe and feel safe.
i can't promise you to be the best women you'll ever met, but i know, with you i have the chance to be the most i can be.
forgive me for the mistakes i had done.
for the curses that has flown out from my mouth.
for the unreasonable tears that i did.
for the jealousy.
for the inability to understand you.
for the inconvenience i've caused you.
for the selfishness for wanting you to put me and my feeling first
i owe you thousands of sorry.
I can't promise you to say to you how sorry i am each and every day. but i promise you to let you know and feel how i love you each and every day.
this is not a wedding vow.
it is just things i always wanted to say to you. and i don't want to loose any chance.
hey swandita, you'll be a great man for your parents, for your brother and sister, for your wife, for your children, for your friend.
and for me, you are already be a great man.
put your dreams high hun, so no one will reach it and tear it down. put it high so only God can take it and make it come true.
nite sweetheart.
a. saulina
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